Now that the semester is finally finished I now have time for the creepers of the world. I wanted to start a mini-series about the worst [insert scenario here] I've ever had/experienced/seen/etc. So in honor of....honor of nothing really here is the story behind The Worst Give I Have Ever Received:
Valentines Day of 2005 I was a junior in high school dating a girl (Jessie NOT-Harris) and we were ready to exchange gifts. I had been a good boyfriend and listened to what she wanted and bought accordingly. After a rough trip to Victoria's Secret with my brother I left with several body sprays and lotions. I had also bought the standard candy and stuffed animal.
Now for the backbone to the story: 1) The girlfriend I were talking about gift giving earlier in the month and we discussed terrible gifts, to which I had mentioned I would hate to be with someone for so long and the only gift I would receive would be socks and a card.
2) I hate people who eat only one pop-tart out of the package and either leave the remaining tart in its wrapping or put it in a plastic bag to try and keep it "fresh". You made a commitment to both pop-tarts when you opened the package they came in
Maybe you can see where this is going. The girlfriend wakes me up early V-Day before she goes off to basketball practice with a bag and card. She leaves before I look in the bag, had she been there we might've broken up right then and there. I was greeted by a pair of socks and a single pop-tart in a plastic bag. I angrily open the card to read the phrase, "HAHA!!! This isn't your only gift. Happy Valentines Day!!". You're godamn right this better not be my only gift.
The gift exchange occurs over at her house. I give her my gift that consists of things she wanted, standard extras, and an awkward mall trip. The whole time I'm thinking how after all of this I would have a respectable gift headed my way. Nope. I was given an unfitted Nebraska Cornhuskers hat. My family is big Nebraska fans whereas I could care less, I was just given a gift by association.
"Do you like it?" she asked nervously.
The worst gift I've ever received? Pair of socks, 1 pop-tart, and a hat of a team I don't care about
-In Chad We Trust
